………………Ok, they do mix, but not with drunk golfers! It’s Thursday and the weekly gathering of the latest Greenville knitting group. Jill is mixing it up by moving it around with tonight’s gathering being at the Embassy Suites. It was a fine place to gather, but being part of the golf and conference center, maybe Thursday wasn’t the best day to be there.
We settled into a corner of the 19th hole, by the elevators. We were pretty much out of the way, and by sitting with my back to the atrium, I had a great view of the bar. It was certainly full of characters which gave us no end of entertainment.
The first act was when this older gentleman who had no business wearing a speedo took a wrong turn off of the elevator. I don’t know if I felt worse for him or my eyes which will forever have that image burned into them. I know I am no greek goddess, but at least I have the sense to cover up!
The second act was this younger dude who had more than a few too many comes over, asking what we’re doing and starts talking about how he’s not too good to knit, yeah he could knit. I’m thinking, ok, if you’re trying to hit on someone, first pick a single target and second, seriously, hitting on a bunch of women knitting? I love knitting and truly enjoy the company of the women in this group, but by any stretch of the imagination I can’t see that being a ‘hit-able’ activity. It conjurs up visions of home, hearth and wholesomeness, not doing the nasty on the dancefloor.
And the men continued to drink.
Another middle-aged man with a well developed beer gut and at this point a permanent tan from the hours spent on the golf course walks past our table on the way to the men’s room. He stops and asks Nancy what we’re doing. She says we meet to knit. He repeats - you neet to mit? Yup, thats what we do and you should probably go to bed. We nicknamed him Nancy’s Boyfriend.
One rather nice man took a picture - his wife wanted to find a group like this at home. We told him about Ravelry. I hope she got a kick out of the picture.
Another couple of guys thought we should have a speed knitting contest with judges. They couldn’t believe we weren’t competing and were just sitting around enjoying each other’s company. Everything is a competition, right? Uh, yeah, and we were counting the number of idiots who would drop by the table.
The crown of the evening was the encore by Nancy’s Boyfriend. He comes back to the bar, by himself, presumably to get food, since he was holding a take out box when he walked back past the table. He says to his friend, “these ladies are knitting me a sweater. All of these nice ladies are knitting me a sweater, and after I deliver this food, I’ll come back to see how things are going. ”
I’m not looking at him, and trying to concentrate on my scarf because I do not have a poker face and really I’m a nice person who wouldn’t want to insult anyone (at least to their face). He had to call me out though, and waved his arm to get my attention - “ma’am, you’ll need to make that bigger” he says about my 6″ wide scarf “I’m a little bigger across here” he said motioning to his ample midsection. I look him square in the eye and say ” good thing it’s not for you then, huh?”
After a chorus of Ohs he says to his friend “all of these ladies are nice except one and are knitting me a sweater.”
I guess I’m a bitch